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My Thoughts About Lauri-Ann
I never met or talked with Lauri-Ann,
and yet I feel I knew her.
You see while wandering through YouTube watching videos,
I came upon a video called "I Hurt" made by Lauri-Ann.
It was quite moving and it
mirrored my own life growing up.
These are her words:
(I sincerely hope that you will listen and not just hear)
I Hurt Alone.
It is easier for you to distance yourself,
than it is for you to really care.
It is easier for you to hear,
than it is for you to listen.
It is easier for you to judge,
than it for you to understand.
It is easier for me to look away,
than it is to let you see the feelings
of betrayal through my eyes.
It is easier for me to walk alone,
than it is to risk rejection.
It is easier for me to cry,
than it is for me to talk.
(can you see my tears?
do you even care?)
It is easier for me to push you away,
than it is for me to be held.
It is easier for me to distance myself,
than it is to trust that you won't hurt me.
It is easier for me to die,
than it is for me to face life's challenges.
It is easier for me to smile,
when I am really hurting.
It is hard for me to talk,
when you won't understand.
It is hard for me to reach out,
when I need help the most.
(I'm older, you should know me by now,
and still, you can't see my pain)
If only you would look at me,
and see who I am.
If only you cared enough to,
reach out when I pulled away.
If only you would hold me,
without asking why.
If only you would acknowledge,
the validity of my feelings.
But it is the easiest roads,
that are most often taken
AND SO I WILL HURT ALONE.
As I read the words on the screen that said
"I would rather die than feel this way."
I knew that feeling.
But, when then next slide came up showing this
(Now I am gone & your screams
will only echo in empty space)
The Tears Came.
I brought up my hands to wiped them away
and regain my composure.
But I could not, and my face fell into my hands and I sobbed.
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Click
for an explaination.
As they are submitted.
me for questions, comments, and submission of poems.
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